I Can't Even Read online

  But would he like it? Would he flirt back? Lexi was all he talked about the past week. No matter how much I fretted for answers, I received none until he came home. He really hadn’t been gone all that long although the hour had seemed like all day had already dragged by.

  I almost pounced on him. “What happened?”

  His eyes sparkled with marginal interest, though his face was slack with disinterest; I could see he didn’t really want to talk about it. “We met Claude.” He shrugged.

  I had wanted an answer as to what happened between him and Lexi, but instead was diverted to this. I sighed with exasperation. “And?”

  His gaze sharpened a little. “He looked at me like I was a piece of meat.”

  Alarm ripped through me. “You weren’t rude to him, were you?”

  He lifted one shoulder and let it drop. “Nah, I didn’t even say anything.” He dropped onto the couch and picked up the game controller.

  Oh god, I better ask fast before he gets wrapped up in his game… “Did Lexi flirt with you?”

  “What?” He looked pained. “No.”

  I didn’t believe it. “She didn’t touch you or anything?”

  “Well, yeah. She had her hands all over my ass in front of Claude.”

  “What?”

  “She touched my butt. She was smoothing it like she was demonstrating clothing or something. I don’t know.”

  “To Claude?”

  He gave me a dorky look. “Uh, yeah?”

  I couldn’t fault her for that, could I? “So like, she didn’t touch you in the car?”

  He began to look annoyed. “Uh, no?”

  I almost collapsed in on myself as the tension left. I didn’t ask him any more questions since he had started his game. But I wondered about the car ride. Had she looked at him? What had been her expression? Had my husband reacted to her? Smiled? Winked? Made suggestive looks?

  Perhaps my silence bothered him, but I didn’t think so. When he got to playing, a bomb could go off and he wouldn’t notice it. It was later when he approached me as I was standing in the kitchen. He had the magazine pouch in his hands and a smoky look in his eyes. “Let’s…” He didn’t finish, just motioned towards the couch.

  More accurately, the bed. He moved around the sofa to the bed and laid out the magazines. He began undressing.

  I was going to get sex? Or did he just want to lie down while I jacked him? If we were going to have sex, what were the magazines for?

  He looked at me curiously. “Aren’t you going to get naked?”

  That answered that for me. I stripped eagerly and got onto the bed. The magazines caught my attention though and I frowned at them.

  He pulled them all out and spread them near the pillows. He grinned saucily. “Spread ‘em.”

  I settled back and spread my legs for him.

  He got between my legs and reached to the side of my head, picking up a magazine.

  What are you doing?

  He flipped some pages and then placed it down, open. Then he picked up another and did the same.

  I looked over. A blonde gal, legs open and pussy ready.

  What are we doing?

  He placed the other one down and began breathing with more excitement. His cock was erect and pointing straight out.

  He wasn’t really going to…?

  My nipples hardened despite my growing suspicions.

  He leaned over me and thrust his thick cock into my pussy. Then he looked over at the blonde and began pumping.

  Sickness and revulsion rose in me like a tidal wave and I turned my head away in shame. He was actually fucking me while looking at the blonde! Imagining her!

  He pumped and thrust, panting madly with lust. “Oh yeah, that’s good.”

  I gasped, shocked, “Me? Or her?” His cock rubbed lewdly through my lips and his pubic bone brushed roughly against my clit. My pussy was being used and it felt good despite the circumstances.

  “This girl. Her name is Kelly.” He thrust deep.

  I groaned with revulsion, but his sliding cock filled me and caused a swirling tightness deep inside. It was wrong, but the nastiness began to grip me. “You’re… imagining her?”

  He sped his thrusts. “Yeah… such a beautiful little pussy.”

  My eyes rolled back in my head as the coil inside me tightened threateningly. Was my pussy beautiful? Or did he really need to look at Kelly’s pussy to be excited? Was hers better? Would he rather have her here than me?

  His stiffness was throbbing in me and it drove my pussy nuts with need. Heat and wetness ran rampant inside and I thrust my hips up at him. Even though I felt ill at the thought of him imagining her, my body was responding to his obvious excitement. My nipples were pebbles. My clit was on fire. The ache deep within me became a gnawing beast that wanted more. My voice was muffled with effort and restraint, “Oh god… Fuck me…”

  He closed the magazine, shutting Kelly out. He gasped, “Yeah.”

  He was going to pay attention to me now? Look me in the eyes with love and fuck me?

  Instead, he pulled closer the other magazine.

  I looked, startled and irritated.

  It was a spread of Lexi.

  Oh god no…

  He sighed with pleasure and began fucking me harder and faster and deeper. “Oh fuck yeah.” He pounded my pussy with a passion that should’ve been reserved for me but was obviously intended for her. He used my pussy, fucking me madly, and totally seeing her in his head. He didn’t even look at me – just kept his eyes locked on Lexi’s picture.

  He was seeing her. He was in her pussy at this moment, not mine. He was fucking her.

  Tendrils of thrill became iron cords that wrapped and twisted so tight that I was going to squeeze water out of my eyes. His ramming cock filling me over and over with hyper-excited lust drove me higher than I thought possible. Even though he was fucking her in his head, he was using me and I became a part of it. As much as I would rather have not, my body responded with a fire of lust I had never felt before. I humped my hips up at him in a frenzy. “Fuck me!”

  He groaned and gasped, “Yeah, Lexi, yeah…”

  Whiteness descended over my vision and sounds receded. I was lifted loftily until I wasn’t certain which way was up or down. The tension quivered in me so tight and then suddenly let loose. I fell as fire flared out from my pussy, igniting all of my flesh along the way as waves of release traveled through me. I cried out with each lifting and wave and shuddered through each drop. Dimly, I was aware that I was slinging my pussy up and down as hard as I could on his cock.

  He tensed up and strained, pushing his erection deep. It filled me with throbbing hardness. Then he gave me five really hard thrusts, slamming his cock to the base against me. “Oh yeah, Lexi! Oh…”

  Hot squirts splashed inside me and I welcomed the offering of his cock that was intended for her.

  I had never felt a harder, more intense orgasm in all my life.

  But that wasn’t the worst.

  CHAPTER 12

  At work, I was torn one way and then the other.

  Just being around Lexi was aggravating AF. I wanted to be around her and be close so as to absorb as much of her as I could for my own betterment. And then I hated every second of it as she was the symbol of all that I wasn’t and the condemnation was loud in our silence.

  She was my boss. She taught me and I did the job, apparently to her satisfaction. I was able to compile portfolios from the composites and she even complimented me on how quickly I picked it up.

  It wasn’t the work part of the job that was hard; it was just being around her.

  I wanted to be her.

  I wanted to hate her.

  I ended up hating myself.

  I could see her body through her clothes. Her figure was all sex and grace and shamed me for my lack. How could a woman be so obviously sexy to another woman like me? Or was that my girl part of me crying out that I wasn’t given the womanly assets that Lexi had? Could I ever be as much as her? Half as much?

  Thoughts of her sensual figure and my husband’s lust drove me into the bathroom several times.

  I had to touch myself.

  It was an aggravation, not a satisfying pang of passion. I touched the ache and tension down there, rubbing my fingers around my clit in anger. I had never felt sexy feelings before while angry and this was new to me.

  Supremely annoying.

  I couldn’t stop it.

  It was on my fifth trip to the bathroom that I discovered the cure and the remedy was horrifying.

  I touched myself, swirling my fingers around hoping to find satisfaction so that my ache would stop bothering me. Perhaps if I finished, I could focus on my work? But as the other four times, I couldn’t find the height required to release a good finish – it just wouldn’t come.

  Until…

  Until…

  I ran my fingers down the edges of my clit on either side and remembered Saturday. Just a few days ago, Shawn had fucked me and called out Lexi’s name. By all rights, I should have not even thought of it, but the sex had been hot, if humiliating. And Lexi was here, a few rooms over, her sexy body unknowingly used in my husband’s imagination for his release.

  The ache and fire flared inside me.

  I rubbed faster, spreading around the wonderful tension and feeling the tightening inside.

  Yes, he had fucked me while imagining pounding his cock into Lexi’s pussy.

  I stifled a rising groan in my throat.

  He had stared at Lexi’s pussy while he slid his cock into her in his mind.

  I began shuddering with tight convulsions and my skin went clammy.

  He had called her name and came.

  I tensed suddenly as the wave lifted me so abruptly that I lost all balance. I clamped one hand on the sink of the bathroom and clenched my jaws shut to keep from crying out. Lava-hot waves ripped through me leaving wakes of tingles and intense satisfaction. I grunted through my teeth, squeezing my eyes shut and trying to orgasm quietly. Water leaked out of my eyes at my effort and the intensity of the orgasm.

  At the end of it, I collapsed panting against the sink. My face hit the faucet and pain flared in my forehead.

  Ow…

  But I remained there in a huddle over the sink as I withdrew my trembling fingers from my panties. My legs quivered and the only thing holding me up was my upper torso propped on the counter of the sink. I gasped and panted through shredded breaths. Listlessly, I wiped at my sweaty, pained brow.

  I was going to get a headache, probably, but the endorphins rampaging through me robbed me of all care.

  I had finally had an orgasm.

  And it…

  It had been good.

  So very satisfying and good.

  That was Monday.

  I was going to learn that every day until Friday, I could only cum when thinking of Shawn imagining Lexi.

  I could not finish otherwise, no matter how hard I tried. No amount of diddling made a difference.

  I raged at myself.

  But it was what it was.

  Then came Saturday and the swim party.

  CHAPTER 13

  I bought Shawn very loose trunks from Walmart. I didn’t want anything form-fitting that showed off his package.

  It was a mistake.

  A huge mistake.

  He rose out of the water like a god emerging from the ocean and I couldn’t help but notice the loose flabby knee-length material that only hinted at his package while dry was now form-fitting to the point of being useless.

  Even Dylan was staring. And smiling with delighted surprise and approval.

  Lexi waded, stunned, watching him pass out of the pool, her eyes locked on his perfectly outlined cock. Her mouth was open in a silent exclamation or pause of breath and her eyes widened in eager hungriness not to miss a split second of sight.

  Oh. My. God.

  I wanted to scream.

  I wanted to apologize.

  I wanted to cry.

  I clutched my glass of vodka tighter. I had resolved not to do more than just occasionally sip the screwdriver and had not even taken a sip. Now I lifted the tumbler to my lips in reflex and took a long gulp of futility and regret.

  Shawn sat on the lounge and dried his hair and face. His knees were spread in that fashion men have of allowing room for their parts to remain unsqueezed and free.

  First, Dylan moved to pull his chair over to face my husband. He resumed his seat and leaned forward, elbows on knees and fingers clasped loosely. His eyes seemed to hover between looking at Shawn’s face and staring at my husband’s outlined cock. The smile was still there.

  Second, Lexi came out of the pool. Water shimmered from her in drips and drops. Her one-piece suit showed nothing and everything. The deep plunging neckline went almost to her belly button, exposing the suggestive swell on the inner sides of her small breasts. The high thigh lines came down to cover her pussy completely, but showed the formation of it with complete detail. She was covered – and might as well have been naked.

  I was certain my face was as red as the plastic stirrers positioned neatly on the serving cart. I looked away. I looked back. I blushed and flushed more and more.

  No one noticed.

  Dylan was nodding his head and still staring at my husband’s package.

  Lexi stood next to him, hand on her husband’s shoulder, looking in the same direction.

  I was going to die.

  And yet…

  And yet, I felt flattered.

  And then I abruptly felt the futility and hilarity of the situation. A bubble of giggle threatened. Lexi’s husband was staring? Did he want to touch it? The idea made me want to laugh and I could almost envision Shawn running around the pool trying to get away.

  My husband was very homophobic.

  No way would he allow some dude to touch his junk.

  No way.

  However, he sat there, seemingly unaware, legs open and grinning at both of them.

  Curious and mollified by my suppressed fit of giggles, I came to stand on Dylan’s other side facing my husband. I registered their conversation.

  Lexi said, “Most assuredly.”

  Dylan added, “I mean, most of the model guys I’ve seen don’t have packages like that.”

  “He’ll show off wonderfully.”

  My husband said, “I’m not that big…”

  I almost laughed, but the realization of their subject embarrassed me to silence.

  Dylan shook his head. “No need to be modest. You have a cock to be admired. Nothing wrong with that.”

  Lexi purred, “Some of my clients will definitely be trying to expose or enhance as much of that as they can.”

  Shawn grinned as if he had been handed a prize. “Yeah?” To all three of us, his package shifted, twitching, and slid down his wet trunks. In the dim light of the baggy recesses of the legs of his trunks, the head of his cock appeared.

  I slapped my hand to my forehead. Way too loose! Way too loose! I slid my hand down and covered my mouth. It didn’t appear that Shawn was aware the baggy nature of the legs of his trunks were showing us his stuff.

  But Lexi and Dylan went quiet. Their eyes were down and locked, looking at my husband’s exposure.

  I had done this. Why hadn’t I bought tight swim trunks?

  Dylan breathed, “Beautiful. Circumcised, too.”

  My boss purred so quietly I almost missed it.

  A flush of heat descended from my innards and warmed my pussy against the wall of my horror and embarrassment. I tried to make faces at Shawn to get his attention.

  My husband didn’t notice, but he wasn’t clueless. He looked down but couldn’t see up his own trunks, of course. Instinctively, he shifted and closed his legs a little. Unfortunately, that exposed even more of his cock to the light. I knew he was trying to hide it, but the material was so loose that it just hung down more right in plain view. Closing his knees somewhat had just pushed it more forward.

  And then the impossible happened.

  Of all the things I’d ever heard about swimming, guys suffered shrinkage. It got as small as possible to withdraw from the cold. Except that it was warm outside, sunny, and both Dylan and Lexi were talking about his cock in front of him.

  It began to harden.

  And stretch with length.

  Slowly, it inched forward into better view.

  Dylan murmured, “Oh yeah, that’s good.”

  Lexi sighed.

  I made a frantic gesture and finally Shawn looked at me. His clueless expression only infuriated me with shame.

  However, Dylan stood. He said, “Shawn… Let’s have a small chat, shall we?” He motioned for my husband to get up and accompany him.

  Oh good, he’s going to tell my husband that he’s showing. I sagged, almost collapsing, and stumbled down to sit in Dylan’s chair.

  Lexi placed her hand on my shoulder. “You sure are a lucky girl.”

  “Whuh? Why?” I pretended to forget about my husband’s uncomfortable exposure.

  “To have a husband with such a large and well-formed… you know…” She stroked my shoulder as if smoothing something.

  It felt good, but I was trembling at the subject.

  She said, “His photo shoot Tuesday will go very well, I’m sure.”

  “He got the job?”

  “He will come Monday morning. I’m going to make sure he does.” She turned to me after watching the two guys on the other side of the pool have their small chat. “I think together we can insure his success. Partners?” She held out her hand to shake.

  “You want me to be a partner in your business?”

  She laughed. “No, I didn’t mean that. I mean together we can make sure your husband is the best he can be. You don’t have any problem helping him with the relaxation thing, do you?”

  I was his wife. I was his partner in life. If I admitted embarrassment or something or other, I was going to look immature and foolish. “No, of course not.”