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  Seeing her mouth on what was supposed to be mine enraged me. However, I only really became assertive over food. I was stuck, inactive, angry, and appalled that Savanna was sucking the man who was going to be my husband. I balled my hands into puffy little fists and shook with futility.

  Savanna – the bitch – made a dramatic show of giving him the longest, hardest, most energetic blowjob I had ever seen. Her head was back and forth, her neck muscles straining, and her fingers clutching in a vise grip on Hudson’s thighs. Her moans and grunts were loud and… meant for me.

  I flushed with shame. It was me that should be doing that, but I hated giving blowjobs. I had tried it once and didn’t like it. It wasn’t like I got anything out of it, anyway.

  But still, Hudson’s friend had brought along his wife and the bitch was blowing my future husband.

  Hudson bent over, growling loudly. He gripped Savanna’s head and pumped his hips. He crammed his cock into her mouth and began trembling.

  Chaz massaged his balls. “Do it, bro, cum in my wife’s mouth.”

  He groaned louder and made a sneezing noise. All of his leg muscles were standing out. He heaved, jerked, and began convulsing – driving his cock into Savanna’s mouth.

  She made a surprised noise, and then began swallowing.

  That’s my cum, not yours… I felt as if I were drifting along a surreal nightmare that had somehow escaped my control. How had this happened? And so fast?

  Savanna pulled off my fiance’s cock and licked her lips. She held onto his shaft and asked him, “Please let me blow you again.”

  Hudson started laughing weakly. “Any time. Any time.”

  CHAPTER 3

  I howled at him. “You’re going over there to get sucked by her!”

  Hudson looked at me quizzically, “Well… yeah.”

  “This isn’t fair; you’re my fiancé!”

  “But you don’t like to suck and you were all for me getting sucked yesterday—”

  “By Chaz, not her.”

  He shrugged. “She gives a way better blowjob than he does.”

  I was frantic and angry. “Stay here; I’ll suck your dick.” If I really had to…

  He shook his head. “I promised Chaz.”

  “That you’d let her suck your dick?”

  “No, that I’d let him try again.”

  “But she’ll be there. And she’s going to—”

  He nodded and smiled. “Yeah, I’m sure she will. She was great.”

  A hot wash of panic swelled through me. I tried to manipulate him and let the tears flow. “You… You… want her… to suck you.”

  He looked happy and eager. “Well… yeah.”

  I tried a different tack. “I won’t stand for this!”

  “You don’t have to come. In fact, it’s best if you don’t, anyway.”

  I wanted to gurgle in frustration. “But we’re going to be married.”

  “Right, and you don’t suck and you were more than willing for Chaz to do it for me.”

  “But his wife—”

  “Chaz wants me to fuck her.”

  I exploded. “He what!”

  “That’s one of their big things. They want me involved with them.”

  “But you’re involved with me.”

  He made a face. “Yeah, but in different ways. Look, Kirsten, you don’t like to suck. Chaz and Savanna—”

  I wagged my head. “Chaz and Savanna. Chaz and Savanna. Chaz and—”

  “I’m going.”

  “No, you can’t.”

  “I’ll be back after. I’ll bring you some cupcakes.”

  “I don’t want her ugly face on your dick!”

  He looked taken aback and angry. “Ugly? What are you talking about? She’s gorgeous. She’s absolutely beautiful.”

  “She’s old.”

  “She’s thirty. She’s skinny and has the cutest little ass—” He was holding out his hands.

  “She’s married!”

  He coughed. “Yeah, like I didn’t notice? Look, I want her mouth on my cock. And I want to be with them.”

  Heaves upset my tits. I panted desperately, “Are you going to fuck her?”

  He pulled out his phone and showed me a picture. “Check out this pic Chaz texted me. Isn’t she beautiful?”

  I stared in horror at the full frontal nude of Savanna.

  He said, “I definitely want to help my friend satisfy their fantasies.”

  “Y-you’re going to fuck her, aren’t you?”

  “Well… yeah. I can’t wait to be inside her. He said we don’t have to use a condom.”

  I tried to wail in horror, but the sound wouldn’t come. Only air and in a hollow wheeze, at that. We always used condoms.

  He blew an air kiss. “I’ll be back, and I won’t forget the cupcakes.”

  And then the front door shut with a bang that was as certain as my hunger every morning.

  This can’t be happening!

  I stomped into the kitchen and took out my special triple-chocolate chocolate chip ice cream from the freezer. It was for special occasions but right now I was determined to anger-eat it.

  I ate the whole thing.

  At the end, I realized I had nothing left for celebration; I had eaten it. But of course, there was nothing to celebrate. I had stained the flavor with the situation and now would have to pick a different flavor for future celebrations. Triple-chocolate chocolate chip was ruined for me now.

  The sugar rush through my veins made me feel alive, but not in a good way. Coursing through my veins was the realization that my fiancé had decided to go be with them this afternoon and it involved sex. With her.

  Maybe he would change his mind?

  With hope, I clung to the idea.

  Which ice cream would I celebrate with? I considered the other three containers in the freezer.

  That was when the front door opened.

  I had hope, though he had been gone for two hours. I pranced out daintily, jiggling, wrists up in the air, hands hanging, and fingers waving side to side. He always loved that. I asked sweetly, “You didn’t go?”

  He looked at me oddly. “No, I went.”

  A sinking feeling plunged some of my high spirits. “You… got blown by Chaz and came back, right?”

  “No. I mean, yeah. He did a little, but it was mostly all Savanna.”

  Everything inside of me plunged straight to the floor. My knees wobbled. “You… had sex with her?”

  His eyes lit up warmly. “Yes. It was fantastic.” He headed upstairs.

  I followed as fast as I could.

  He said over his shoulder, “They’re gonna come by tomorrow night. Our bed is bigger.”

  I gasped, “My bed.”

  “Well, yeah, fine. I thought you said it was ours, now.”

  I grabbed his arm in the bedroom. “You don’t need her. I can suck your dick for you.”

  He made a disbelieving expression, “You? Come on, Kirsten, we both know you hate it. That’s why you were all lit up for Chaz to—”

  I dropped to my knees and began tearing at his pants. “I’ll show you. I’ll do it right now. You don’t need her.”

  “Hey—You—”

  I pulled his pants down and grabbed his swollen cock. It was semi-hard and I stuck it in my mouth. It was hot on my tongue and tasted…

  He was quiet, letting my tongue swirl and taste what had to be…

  I yanked my head back and wiped frantically at my mouth. His normal flavor had been there, but also another flavor. Something mellow and… different. I realized I had just tasted her juices on my future husband’s cock.

  I gagged, even if it hadn’t been repulsive.

  Pain shot up my pussy and constricted my chest. I slumped over onto my hands, hanging my head down as if to retch. At the same time, my entire body flamed as if I had been stuck in a furnace. My head broke out in a sweat.

  Her… essence… was all over my fiancé.

  I gasped, “You… fucked her.”r />
  “Yes.”

  I shook with emotion. “Did you like it?”

  “Yes, she was great. Her pussy felt fantastic. And they even let me cum in her.”

  I groaned as my insides seized up in one huge cramp.

  He laughed. “I think we broke their bed.”

  “Oh god…” I was on fire and sweating.

  “That’s why they’re coming over here tomorrow.”

  I whispered weakly, “No, they can’t. I don’t want—”

  He admonished me, “It’s my place too. You said so. And they’re my friends.”

  I coughed, trying to talk.

  He knelt down beside me. “Are you all right? Kirsten?”

  “No.”

  “Damn, I forgot the cupcakes. I’m sorry.” His voice was genuine and filled with sympathy. “After I shower, I’ll run out and get some. After all, I promised.”

  I tried to wave him off, but I just sat there on my hands and knees and shivered as if I was cold and not sweating. Maybe… maybe a cupcake or two would make me feel better. Maybe they would give me the courage to… Or maybe the equilibrium to…

  He came out of the shower a few minutes later and saw me sitting at the foot of the bed. He squatted down next to me. “Hey, hey…” His fingers brushed my hot cheek. “Don’t look so sad. Be happy. I’ve got two people now willing to give me blowjobs so you don’t have to.”

  I groaned as the churning inside twisted and turned in vile ways.

  He patted my knee. “I’ll be back in a bit.”

  What am I going to do after I eat the cupcakes?

  CHAPTER 4

  The cupcakes didn’t help. The consolation of sweet food in my mouth lasted less than the time it took to eat them. And I even ate the whole package.

  I didn’t have to work and I spent much of the day of their planned visit fretting in my condo. Shopping would do me no good; I knew it. Pampering myself was out of the question – because I was no longer in control.

  That’s what really ate away at me and caused so much tension. I had always been able to manipulate Hudson effortlessly, but now…

  Now I couldn’t find the familiar ground from which I had previously reigned. In my own home, I had been forced to watch Savanna with her mouth on my fiance’s cock. He was going to be my husband! It was one thing to see Chaz hilariously sucking the love of my life, but his wife?

  She thought she was so sexy; I hated her.

  And she dared to blow my future husband in front of me - and look at me while doing it – as if my opinion didn’t matter.

  He was mine.

  But, he was right in a way… I didn’t like to give blowjobs. I had thought it was perfect when Chaz admitted to wanting to do it, and I was all for it. But when I saw Savanna sucking him, I lost all of my authority with a single smack of her lips on Hudson’s erection.

  I couldn’t see a future. Not that I thought it was all ending, but that I suddenly didn’t know where things were going. On a normal day, I could predict Hudson’s arrival, what I was going to eat for dinner, and what I would wear while eating.

  Simple.

  Uncomplicated.

  Now, however, I couldn’t grasp my former base of sanity to retain anything of comfort. That ground was gone.

  Was it my fault?

  Just because I refused to blow Hudson more than the couple of times I tried?

  He had to realize that I just wasn’t going to do it. Did that give him a reason to allow Savanna to take my place in that regard?

  I fretted and sweated, worrying about the impending evening.

  Maybe they would change their minds and not come over. Maybe this had all been a joke. Maybe Hudson hadn’t actually fucked Savanna and this was some elaborate prank on me. I strutted angrily at that thought, but it evaporated pretty quickly. Hudson wasn’t one to craft elaborate pranks and carry them on so long. And he had admitted to fucking his friend’s wife and relished doing it. He had even said he couldn’t wait to fuck her again.

  Tonight.

  I ground my teeth together and became immensely hot and sweaty. I had to shower again.

  Under the water, I considered my house was crying for me through the shower head. But was I fooling myself? Was Hudson really to blame for all of this? I had indeed pushed him to let Chaz suck him – and that had been good and wonderful. It had been wholesome and right.

  I had even been proud of my Hudson for being so sexy that Chaz wanted to blow him. That was all well and good. But then Savanna… She had wanted to blow him, too. Was I not proud of my man that he drove that desire in her? As much as I hated her?

  Maybe I should take it as a compliment. I dried my hair.

  Maybe Savanna and Chaz were doing me a favor by sucking my fiancé and relieving me of the burden. His cock was awful big for my mouth anyway, and Savanna had a big mouth… Maybe it was perfect.

  But did he have to fuck her? That right there was too much for me. I had to draw a line, but…

  But what if my parents were right?

  What if I was too fat?

  Despite the fact that fat was the new in thing, was certainly in style, was even gloriously portrayed as desirable in sitcoms and such, was my Hudson so obviously not woke to the trends that he preferred a skinny girl? Or a skinny woman like Savanna?

  She definitely was sexy for being so thin. Even I had to admit that: Savanna was the model of sexiness from the early 2000s and before. Maybe my Hudson was so backward that he was a member of the dreaded patriarchy?

  At least I had gotten him to pursue his fetish for trying new things with Chaz. Maybe it was my fault he had done it with Savanna, too. If I had supported his refusal to indulge in bisexuality with Chaz, maybe Savanna would not have happened.

  It was my fault.

  I certainly couldn’t blame him for doing exactly what I urged him to do – and then blame him for allowing Savanna to do what Chaz had done to him.

  I finished glowing up my hair, but my heart wasn’t in it. Instead, I began to get uncomfortably warm between my thighs. I had very much enjoyed seeing Chaz’s mouth sliding on my fiance’s shaft. That was hot as fuck. Especially that Chaz didn’t know how to suck. That was so cute.

  My nipples hardened as I remembered it and I squirmed in front of the mirror.

  Yes, I sure had loved seeing Chaz’s lips sliding back and forth on—

  But the image was replaced with Savanna doing it and looking at me with a cocky smirk in her eyes.

  Cramps seized my pussy and bent me over the sink.

  Had Hudson really went over there and fucked her? What was so much better about being skinny? I had the cushions for pushin’. I had the big tits. I was soft and jolly. I had the personality. I was just like all those sassy big girls on TV that got the attention of all the studly black guys.

  I was the image of sex, no doubt.

  But had Hudson…?

  He confirmed he had and loved it.

  Had she fucked differently? Moaned more? Moved more? Stood on her head or some dumb shit? What had she done that had been so wonderful? He had said her pussy felt better. Like how?

  What was wrong with my pussy?

  I crammed my hand down and rubbed viciously at my clit. What was wrong with it? Wasn’t big pussy better? Sexier?

  I panted into the mirror and shoved my hairbrush down my stretchy pants. I ground the handle against my clit and wriggled it. I grunted at the pain and pleasure.

  I can be sexy, too.

  I worked the handle into my pussy, doing my best to shift my hips forward and curve the handle up into me. It penetrated and I let out a gasp of victory.

  Yes, I am sexy, too.

  I worked the brush in and out and then spread my wetness up to my clit. I knew Hudson loved me and that I… He had claimed Savanna was fantastic. I crammed the handle up my hole and drove it as deep as I could into me. He had said her pussy felt great and that he had even cum in her.

  I grunted savagely, driving the hairbrush up my aching
pussy.

  Damn her!

  My body rocked and jiggled with the force of my frustration. I humped my hips and fucked myself with my hairbrush. My grunts came in rhythm to my frantic arm thrusts.

  Irritated, I slid my pants down to be able to move easier. I crammed the hairbrush back up my wet pussy. I ground my teeth together. “Her pussy was good, was it? You liked it, Hudson? It felt fantastic, did it?” I convulsed in a hectic frenzy of pulling and shoving the hairbrush. “Ungh! Ungh! Ungh! You loved her pussy?”

  “Yeah, I did.”

  I heard it as soon as I saw the shadow in the doorway of the bathroom. I screamed. I flung around, humiliated at being seen masturbating. I shoved the door shut in his face. “How dare you sneak up on me!” I was trembling now from head to foot with adrenaline and panic.

  He saw me!

  Hudson said on the other side of the door, “Sorry. I wasn’t trying to be quiet. You were making a lot of noise.”

  I slumped down to the floor and hung my head as the scalding blush raced up my neck and prickled my scalp.

  “Do you want dinner? They’re going to be here soon.”

  I had no appetite. “Go away.” I cried to myself slumped over on the bathroom floor.

  CHAPTER 5

  I came out after I had freshened up.

  Hudson had caught me doing something he would misinterpret. There was only one way I could save face and I just had to cap it to get past it.

  I told him in the living room, “I do that all the time.” I shrugged and wriggled my shoulders so my boobs waved from side to side under my blouse. I definitely did not look at him, pretending rather to be interested in a spot on the floor.

  Hudson bought it. “Oh really? Cool. That’ll relieve me from more work after Savanna.”

  My inner fortress – hastily built – crumpled fast.

  I asked quietly, “Was her pussy really all that good?”

  He nodded emphatically. “Mm hmm.”

  Dejected, I said, “That’s nice…” I simply didn’t know how I could proceed to regain my authority.

  The doorbell rang and it frightened me into a trembling panic. I wanted to tell him not to answer it, but he already was – eagerly – and I learned to hate the sound of my own doorbell.